I once saw true courage and fearlessness.  It was the dancing out of the Christmas Tree holiday of St Knut's, which comes Jan 13th (after the Christmas holiday).  We were having a little family party.

Suddenly, there were 3 cars of men in our driveway, right next to our house.  They had probably been drinking.  They were after a Raccoon that had been treed at the creek by their Hunting Dogs.  They always have loaded guns in their vehicles.  They were disturbing us and it was wrong and it really could not be allowed to continue or a precendent would be set that would interrupt our Peace over and over again.

My husband went out, unarmed, to respectfully but firmly ask them to leave.  We were told we were never to go onto their property next door.  We didn't for awhile but then were given permission to cross through to visit a relative of theirs and nothing more was ever said.

In that moment, I thought my husband was the most fearless and brave man I had ever met.  I still believe that.  He is now brokering a Peace between this same family and another who is quite new to living in our valley but had brought us to the brink of war with threats of potentially fatal action.

At the request of Zennie and Nicole, more Robin Trower.  OK, Nicole didn't really directly ask for more Trower but did really appreciate the 3 I posted previously.   things . . .


Lyrics -


There really is a Bridge of Sighs (the title song from Trower's album).  Venice's Ponte dei Sospiri, or "Bridge of Sighs," may have been the inspiration for such architectural fantasies in science-fiction comics from the 1950s that showed skyscrapers connected by enclosed bridges far above the ground.

Antonio Contino's bridge over the Rio di Palazzo was erected in the year 1600 to connect the Doge's prisons, or Prigioni, with the inquisitor's rooms in the main palace. The name "Bridge of Sighs" was invented in the 19th Century, when Lord Byron helped to popularize the belief that the bridge's name was inspired by the sighs of condemned prisoners as they were led through it to the executioner. (In reality, the days of inquisitions and summary executions were over by the time the bridge was built, and the cells under the palace roof were occupied mostly by small-time criminals.)

The Bridge of Sighs is included in the guided Itinerari Segreti ("Secret Itinerary") tour of the Doge's Palace, which you can book by appointment. This 90-minute tour is conducted in Italian; it also includes the prisons, torture chambers, and other rooms that normally aren't open to visitors. From June through September, tours are scheduled daily except Wednesdays at 10 a.m. and noon. Reserve at least a day in advance, since the number of visitors is limited.

TIP: In the off-season, you may be able to wander across the Bridge of Sighs and explore the prisons on your own during a self-guided visit to the Doge's Palace. Ask at the palace ticket window or have your hotel's concierge phone 52-24-951 for current details.

(The above was courtesy of -http://europeforvisitors.com/venice/articles/bridge_of_sighs.htm)


Oh yeah, I did know this song Day of the Eagle, Zennie.  I just didn't realize that was the name of it.


Lyrics -

I got caught up this afternoon, in remembering an interesting movie I watched with my son recently - Jim Henson and George Lucas' Labyrinth with David Bowie.  A feast for the eyes, a fairy tale for the heart and an amazing message from the Goblin King to the young lady at the end, about who created who and what and who rules.  It was released in the 1980s but I never heard of it.  I judge it worth the time to watch it.  A great escape for these laggard days of wait and see.  Here's the link to a trailer - http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=-9oQzeXGqjU&NR=1. 

I shared it with FastDart/Lars because his terrorist Squirrel in Owl disguise today is what made me think of this movie.  Then, I put it in my status line for a few hours, for whoever's eye it might catch.  I headed out into the forest looking for a fairy tale like world of my own, as darkness was already closing in thanks to the shortening days.

As I mulled over what I might want to listen to on my hike, before leaving, Robin Trower, crossed my mind but I had not decided to listen to him, when I opened up the cardboard box, where I store the CDs only I'm interested in, and right on top was an unopened, still wrapped, new CD of Bridge of Sighs by Robin Trower, digitally remastered.

The energetic beat of The Fool and Me got me dancing my way through the wooded dirt track road in a high enthusiasm of joy.  Robin is about a decade older than me (born in the mid40s), who played with Procol Harum in the 1960s and is reminiscent of Jimi Hendrix.  He went solo in the early 1970s.  The organist on Bridge of Sighs, his most famous album, was a Procol Harum bandmate, Matthew Fisher.

As the music went into Too Rolling Stoned (the YouTube is long but features an appropriately "aged" band, proving old guys play great rock n roll, with Trower celebrating his birthday), I couldn't help but think of the economic situation - on our way home from St Louis on Tues evening, I listened to NPR, On Point with Tom Ashbrook, who did a 2 hour program on the economic situation.  I hoped to gain some understanding of a situation even the experts have a hard time explaining.

The first half was The View From Wall Street featured Greg Ip, editor at The Economist, Jesse Eisinger writer for Portfolio magazine, David Beim, professor of finance and economics at Columbia Business School and Tom Wolfe who wrote The Bonfire of the Vanities.  The other hour was called The View from Main Street with Maura Reynolds writer at the LA Times who's been covering the debate of the bailout on Capitol Hill, Ben Stein, columnist and commentator who wrote a book called How to Ruin the United States of America and Charles Calomiris, professor of financial institutions at Columbia University and visiting scholar at the American Enterprise Institute where he is co-director of the Financial Deregulations Project.

The most hopeful thoughts I heard were not to bail-out those who speculated us into the mess but to keep the banks liquid who are holding mortgages and in the process re-value those mortgages at fairer values - say if there is a mortgage of $10 mil only worth $6 mil, then the liquidity would be supported for the lower amount.  Someone else suggested starting with the lower income sub-primes to help people keep their homes and then working up from there.  It was believed the price tag to taxpayers would be much less with this approach.  Let's hope some of the politicians were listening.

It seems quieter in our office, as though everyone is holding their breath.  I suppose it could last the rest of this year, if that's the case. . . but it just might be a few slow days.  They come along once and awhile.  I remain calm and accepting because I think it will all work out for the better somehow. 

Later this evening, I read the clearest explanation yet in the new Oct 6, 2008 issue of Newsweek - The Monster That Ate Wall Street by Matthew Philips.  Basically, banks used to have to have a significant portion of a loan covered by real money in exchange for being paid interest, in case the borrower could not repay their loan.  In the mid 1990s, some bankers realized that if they could get insurance against the possibility the borrower didn't repay, then they would not need so much money tied up as security against the risk of the loan.  The Credit Default Swap (CDS) was born.  First, for large corporate loans (Ford, IBM, Wal-Mart), then as the idea gained acceptance, riskier ventures were insured by CDSs - Latin American and Russian debt, sub-prime loans.  A lot of companies bought and sold these like securities and mortgages and loans were bundled up in packages.  But AIG was a sort of buck stops here.  AIG looked at CDSs like insuring a house - if your neighbor's house burns down, yours probably won't.  But securities markets are a lot more skittish and when it became evident AIG would not be able to pay claims, the interconnected nature of the financial web began to unravel.  Finally, the liquidity issue I heard discussed last night makes a whole lot more sense.

Another Robin Trower favorite is A Little Bit of Sympathy.  Those suffering significant losses, or expecting to, might be singing this song over their glass of whiskey at the bar tonight.  Hopefully, it is fear and anxiety that doesn't become something more for most of us to worry about, some who risked much out of greed and loopholes in poor regulation due to the private contractual nature of these financial instruments, will have a price to pay like any who gambles heedlessly.

Ah well, as for me, there is always the woods to walk through and it doesn't cost a single cent to do so.  Food grows wild here, if the need comes . . . though I'm not expecting it to.  I just feel a sense of security.  Not because of where and how I live, as much as because I know my Source isn't the economy.  My Source never runs out of supply . . . there is always more than enough for all . . . may we'll someday realize that for all of humanity.

A neighbor came by today.  He was still talking with my husband outside our home when I left to work for an hour with my assistant and then take my MIL to a drs appt.  When I returned home, my husband had rather startling and unsettling news for me from this neighbor.  The neighbor is a newcomer on our road.  There are 8 home sites on our road, his is one.

Our valley was settled in the early 1800's.  The family members earned land here by fighting in the War of 1812 and settled shortly thereafter.  The cemetery on our road belongs to this family and they still live here.  The one-room schoolhouse, now a part of our property, was built by this family and several generations of their family attended school there until the 1950's, which is about the same time that electricity came to this rural area of Missouri.

Even though my husband's family came here in the 1970's, they are still considered "out-siders" - though genuinely accepted.  The pioneer family's descendents have been extraordinarily kind to my in-laws and have treated them pretty much like family.  They chopped wood for them the first bitterly severe winter they lived here.  They had a joint 83rd birthday party for my in-laws, whose birthdays were 3 mos apart, in one of their homes.  The wife of one of the descendants is a good friend of mine (though we don't socialize or do much together) and helped with some of my business work, for a couple of years, when my older son was born.  She was trustworthy and dependable, a genuinely good and caring person.

Not all is perfect between us and this family but we've gotten along.  There was the time 3 car-loads of them drove into our driveway at night.  Our children were having a take down the Christmas Tree party with me and my husband.  The men were like a pack of dogs themselves and they were after a raccoon their dogs had sent up a tree right next to our home, which sets next to the creek.  My husband faced them alone, un-armed with great courage, and told them to leave, that they were disturbing his family.  One of the brothers was a bit miffed and told us we were not to come on their property but it never amounted to much of a dispute and we eventually could hike through there again without fear.  This brother died last Jan when a tractor ran away from him and then, as he tried to catch up to it, ran over him.  We walk to the cemetery whenever one of their family dies for graveside services out of respect.  We have always allowed their family outings to pass by our home and go downstream to our falls.  Little shut-in waterfalls their family passed by for many decades as they walked the 3 miles to the church downstream, twice a day, on Sunday (returning by lantern light at night).

We are not hunters, we like our wildlife alive but do not press our preferences on our neighbors.  We've always realized, that as settlers of this land and hunters, they felt a kind of ancestral right to hunt here.  Now, they've been pretty considerate about it in general.  When our neighbor first built his home on the family property (the one whose wife worked with me), one Sunday morning, my husband and I were alarmed to hear a shot ring out not far from our house in the field.  My husband stepped out onto the front porch and the neighbor saw him.  He knocked on our door and explained he had shot and wounded a coyote and wanted permission to go looking for it on our property.  My husband was bothered and dressed to go looking for it himself.  I left on my usual Sun morning hike.  I met the man with his rifle in one hand and the coyote in the other.  He looked at me and said "it's only a coyote".  I was sad and went to the falls to apologize to "coyote" for what was done, to my mind, without cause. 

Once they asked to go after a deer they shot that had gone into our property.  We suspect, they go onto our property hunting at other times, in season and not, but they are pretty considerate not to do it in our face or very often.

There was an old woman who retired here and lived alone with some property at the end of the road.  She still owns it but has moved to town, her son still comes during hunting season to hunt there.  She told me a story of once confronting 3 members of the pioneer family on her property out of season hunting.  She stood them down as bravely as my husband had but then grew fearful.  The family "runs" the volunteer fire dept and told her not to expect help, if her house was on fire.  Our ferrier, who lived to the west, was once threatened by a pioneer descendent years ago.  My FIL was shocked as he heard this story while his horse was being shod.  There seems to be a disconnect with sanity when it comes to territory and/or hunting.

Two other house sites have long been in their families and the descendents still own and either live there or rent the house out.  One other house on the road belongs to my husband's cousin, the daughter of his deceased father's twin brother (who we've had issues with and aren't too close to, the husband's local friends once shot into the woods where I was hiking because of the rustling of leaves and I confronted them about it).   It is only a vacation house and they only visit for a few days 2 or 3 days a year, so we don't have much problem with that.

The neighbor that came today is the newest.  He has made significant investments in taking raw land and making a home site.  He is heavily into wildlife hunting and even has deer penned up that he is raising to stock his property.  I don't agree with this practice but it's really not my business and appears to fall within legal regulations - sadly.  We have gotten along okay with him.  We get along okay with all of our neighbors, the ones we don't care much for, we keep our distance from but the family that settled here, we treat as neighbors, taking them cookies at Christmas or bringing gifts when their children had surgery or car accidents.

The new neighbor had a survey done and it came to pass that this takes a small amount of land from the pioneer family, due to improvements in survey technology but they always thought of this piece of land as theirs.  Our mailman belongs to this family and has parked a hunting trailer there during season in previous years.  He lives adjoining the family land but on the state highway a good distance from us.  There is definite animosity about this survey.  It is a disappointment, a bitter pill for them to swallow.  One night, my husband was asked by our mailman to come and look at maps and discuss this with him.  That was 6 mos to a year ago, I forget how long.

I didn't know it had become so contentious.  The new neighbor says that last deer season one of the descendents of the pioneer family (our mailman) came into our property near the new neighbor's road (the far western boundary of our property, far from our home).  He heard through the grapevine that this person bragged in town that he killed 4 deer, not for meat, but to keep them from our neighbor, deer that were in the designated wildlife sanctuary of our property.  This person from the pioneer family has now threatened to kill every deer he finds in the vicinity of our new neighbor and to kill the deer the neighbor has penned.  This new neighbor is ex-law enforcement and registered to carry a hand gun.  He told this pioneer descendent that if he finds him on his property armed, say with a shotgun, he will shoot him and he indicated to my husband that he would shoot to kill.

In our rural wilderness county, many in the southern part are related through long generations of inter-breeding.  One never says anything about anybody to anybody because they are probably related.  Such behavior, as in shooting this person, would only set off a cycle of retaliation, say burning down the new neighbor's house.  His wife is so fearful, she is packing to leave.  She obviously is not reassured into feeling safe due to her husband's prowess with a gun.

It's all about territory and hunting.  It's un-necessary.  If this were me and we found out that a bit of the pioneer family's land, really belonged to us, what does it matter?  If we were to sell it, we would still be paid for it.  Why not let them use a tiny bit of land their family has believed they owned for almost 200 years?  Why make such a contentious little war of this?  The sheriff has been called and talked to the mailman.  The conservation agent's been called but he gets more effect for his time by prosecuting those who hunt on federal land, than getting involved in civil or state law issues.  He recommends marking boundaries with the no hunt/no trespass purple squares of paint on trees.  Then prosecution would be possible for this new neighbor.

My husband and I once read a series of books by a man named Allan Eckert.  The first one we got (Wilderness Empire) as a wedding gift after a local man with a cave told us about it.  They are called Narratives of America - we have 6 of them plus a book about Tecumseh by this author.  They are excellent reading, like non-fiction with literary license taken but exacting in their research.  My husband was reminded of these today.  It is like when the white men came with their deeds and the Indians didn't understand land ownership.  It is a bit like that here in this mini-war.  On the one side is modern technology and satellite defined boundaries.  The law would appear on this side but the man's wife is leaving, that's a great price to pay to defend land and investment but the priorities of his man are obvious.  On the other side is continuity and family ties.  The pioneer family isn't going any where and they have lots of friends and/or family to help prosecute such a war.  I don't see the newcomer "winning", unless he can back off.

We are NOT taking sides but it does affect OUR PEACE.  It is no wonder we are building far back into our property, far from the county road on which we now live, that all these parties must pass by (our current home).  I've spent a great deal of time today in contemplation.  I spent time in meditation at my sacred site when I had really wanted to celebrate the Autumnal Equinox (which I did by placing a hand picked bouquet on my rock altar).  I am full of the PEACE of yesterday, and today as well as it has carried over.

I can't believe this news comes after such a peaceful day but it did not begin today.  It is a microcosm of what IS and the kind of thinking that prevents true and lasting peace.  We will continue to stay informed, without taking sides, though the pioneers have the stronger position in our minds and we don't intend to burn our bridges there.  Our ties there go much farther back than with the lone newcomer.  There is an unsettling pattern of behavior in the pioneer family but we avoid problems by minding our own business and keeping to ourselves. 

My desire is that these parties find a way to accept and allow co-existence or that one party decides to leave, so peace can return.  I try not to judge rightness.  There seems enough wrong to go around and a lot on the pioneer side but the newcomer takes too hard of a stand.  I turn it all over to the higher power, the only ONE who knows best how to resolve this for THE HIGHEST GOOD of all concerned. 

The situation seems serious enough to ask for help.  I do not wish to have any (or in truth more) killing - not man, not deer - those not meant to be eaten (though we will not eat even the deer meat given us).  I appreciate ALL PEACE and HARMONY sent into my neck of the woods by any and all who find satisfaction in helping spiritually in such situations.

Begin at the only place you really can- with yourself.  This is how I have spent my day bathed in aspects of peace.

First, I posted a blog last night with a beautiful YouTube video of Vince and Jenny (his daughter) Gill each singing "Let There Be Peace On Earth" and wrote down the words to a Prayer for Peace which I have on an Inspiration Prayer and Meditation CD from the United Centers for Spiritual Living (Science of Mind and Religious Science) World Ministry of Prayer.  I also posed notices in the Living Metaphysics pod about International Peace Day.

Next, I have made a committed effort to respond from a state of Peace to all actions by my children for this day, as a beginning for every day from now on.

Then, I participated with the Peace Intention Experiment thanks to Meenakshi and though my online link did not function properly, I was able to join real time with Ressurected1/Ariela and together we set many intentions for the expression of Peace.  Meenakshi joined us near the end of that session.

Now, I am cruising around Gaia looking for opportunities to further pass on the Energy of Peace.

I've no doubt something special will unfold from all these intentions held worldwide at the same time or at least on the same calendar day.  Awesome Peace.

There is a Power
And when we talk about this Power
We are talking about the Power that everything has come from
When we talk about Creation, we're talking about the Energy
The thing that was here first
That will always be here and it is the Power that made all of Itself
And keeps making Itself in the Energy of Peace
God - that's our own unique Energy
Because we all each are a part of this Energy
Of the God Love for Peace

So, I know right now within myself
As I take the Peace in my Heart, Mind & Spirit
For every action and reaction
I know that I am passing this Power of Peace on
I'm passing it on for the Energy
So as I go forward into what I need to do
For my own unique Peace
I pass this on,
As we are truly accepting the blessings of
Peace, Poise & Power

I'm thankful & grateful for the unique Energy
That no matter where I am, what I am doing,
I can stop in Peace

>>> Peace - the Patient Energy <<<

Attitude, Change, Exercise
Peace in God
I am thankful for God giving us this energy
And our capabilities to use it for Peace

I release this and give it to God
In thanksgiving & prayer
As so it is !  Amen.

(The Prayer for Peace above is courtesy of The World Ministry of Prayer, United Church of Religious Science - Inspirational Prayer and Meditation CD)

September 21, is the day declared by the United Nations General Assembly, as the International Day of Peace, a day devoted to commemorating and strengthening the ideals of peace both within and among all nations and peoples.

Go in Peace, May the Peace that passes all understanding, keep your hearts and mind in belief and faith that it can be so.

Here at Gaia, participating in the KING BISCUIT FLOWER HOUR, the celebration of Satya-seer's birthday.  In my heart, I'm sending much LOVE in his direction and wishing him a wonderous year full of much joy, much friendship, much love and much expansion of his own inner self to express itself fully as the shining light that it is.

Happy Birthday, my dear friend John, and Many Happy Returns of the Day ! ! !




Deb

Yesterday I felt a bit out of sorts.  I don't really know why but I did.  I even posted that on my Gaia status line and left home around 2pm with husband and MIL to take the kids to our District Fair, which is about an hour away.  It is very small and easy to do in one afternoon/evening.  I felt "lighter" almost immediately.  I know a few Gaian friends were sending wonderful positive thoughts to perk me up and I felt that.  Yet, what I want to comment on is something so subtle, that many people would probably miss these kinds of cues.  This is often the subtlety of Spirit in our lives.

Since my husband wanted to do some work on his laptop, I was driving.  Not all that far from home, we were on a state road and came upon some re-surfacing work that had my lane's traffic backed up a bit.  As I sat somewhat bored, wondering when we would begin to move, my attention was drawn to an older model car pulling into the parking area of an old, white board, general store kind of building.  I'm sure I've "noticed" the building before but not paid all that much attention to it.

The woman in the car was about my age, looking a bit like a hippie or alternative kind of person but not overly so.  She was taking a walker, like senior citizens use, out of her car for her own use, yet she really didn't look old enough to need such.  That's when I noticed a sign on the building that said "Whole Grain Bakery" and when I commented upon it to my husband, he suggested I pull in and look inside as we have long been seeking more local sources from which to purchase quality foods.

I was amazed by what I found inside and what happened to me inside.  It was all because one woman (going about her own business, not trying to be anything special) had caught my attention and I acted upon what flowed next.  The woman who owns the store grinds her own flour the day she bakes the bread.  She also had all kinds of supplements and natural or bulk foods.  There is some produce which they grow organically behind the store.  I was very excited because it would not be a long drive on a Sat morning to visit her again.

I told her about the Farmer John video (mentioned previously in one of my blogs) and she told me that she purchases those types of videos and loans them for 3 days to various customers.  She did not know about this one.  I bought some multi-grain bread (it is dense and yes, it is good) and a couple of rolls - one cinnamon and one pesto (the cinnamon one I ate before we went into the fair).  I bought 5 kinds of dried beans for the fall and winter's Chili I will make.  Just as I was checking out, my husband and older son showed up inside (to see what was taking me so long).  My son got some snacks and the proprietor offered my husband an organic apple for free (she also gave me the rolls free and I kept telling her not to do this, that I was willing to pay).

As I was ready to leave, my MIL and my younger son showed up in the store next and that delayed me long enough for what happened.  My younger son picked out some Corn Tortilla Chips for his snack and my MIL an Orange Mum from the front porch and some Horseradish Cheese.  A couple of ladies had come in while I was there and they were purchasing items and so I had to wait.  They began chatting with the woman who owns the store and the topic turned to homeschooling and so I was able to say, we homeschool too.  Her children help her in the store.

Then, the ladies who were checking out began to talk about recycling, about trying to set up a center for that county and would this woman be willing to be a collection point.  I mentioned that our business turns recycled materials into building products and they asked what county I lived in.  Their county adjoins mine but is not the same county.  Well, it turns out that one of these woman (who I did not know before) had called me a month earlier to talk to us about their program and receiving our voice mail, instead of the live me, had left a message.  She said she didn't do well with internet, and her hours were a bit limited (Tue, Thurs & Fri).  I had intended to call her back but it is one of those public relation things that we do as we have time and I just had never found the right moment.

Well, she said "Are you Yemm & Hart?"  And I knew immediately, it was this woman who had left that message and I apologized for not calling her back.  They had been planning to drop in on us, and after talking with her, she realized that we are not actually the direct link to what they will be doing but we certainly may end up some day with some of the items they recycle.  It is like many industrial processes in this county - there is a supply chain that allows economies of scale and the proper equipment for processing.

The energy during that time in the store was amazing.  What are the odds that I would meet these women, who wanted to connect with me specifically, in this store?  Of course, they didn't know I was there, and I wasn't planning to be there, it was an "impulse" decision on my part. 

Only Source can arrange such amazing circumstances.  And think how subtle the cues.  Was it a big deal?  No, I'm not saying it was, but it was special, very special, because I was "in the flow" at that moment and I had the awareness to understand that.  It saved me the inconvenience of unexpected guests dropping in and taking up much more time than they did in that store.  At the same time, it supported their desire to talk with us and our desire to spread the word about why recycling is a good thing.

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.

Or "What I Did For Labor Day".  My holiday did not begin in any sort of normal way.  On Friday, I had a rather major business challenge.  My partner was away at a remote construction site.  My customer had caused delays in his own shipment because he was anxious about a trade show related deadline.  I understood because the show starts on time whether you are ready or not.  So, all day, I tried to work it out and the customer was not accepting any responsibility but I did see where our business might have performed better.  In truth, we had our own challenges at the time. 

So, I made a decision to make it happen on time, even if it cost us our entire profit on this particular project.  Even though technically it was the customer's rush and not ours.  It wasn't an easy decision and I doubt my partner would have caved in like I did but I felt like it was the "right" thing to do at the time I was presented with the split second opportunity to make a decision.  I recognized that this customer is not the Source of our supply.  I removed all thought of separation and worked to be a part of the "whole" to enact a winning solution but remain uncertain that it will be a true win-win - meaning I'm not at all confident, given this customer's behavior, that they will accept even part of the financial responsibility, though I have indicated that I personally hold them liable for reimbursment.  I would be content with splitting the difference if they wish to compromise.

I believe that I will be compensated one way or another.  It is not always easy to hold to the center when the normal mode of business thought would run contrary.  My customer's behavior indicates that he thinks in terms of "winning", meaning someone loses, and separation and blame.  I have to think in terms of disappointing "his customer" if I had not cooperated, though they probably would have found some solution without our material because they would have had to.  It was one of those grey areas in which my instincts took over contrary to my common sense.  In the Sept 3rd, 365 SOM reading which is posted in full in the Living Metaphysics pod at this link - http://pods.gaia.com/living_metaphysics/discussions/view/182286#333456 - I find the following which is appropriate to this experience "Realizing that my attention must not be divided between believing and doubting, I carefully guard my mental reactions, seeking always to keep them affirmative, to keep them open to that which is constructive."

When I went on my daily hike in our forest that evening, I stopped by at the construction site to which my husband had taken our boys.  They wanted to walk home with me and though we had been together all day, I let them come along and enjoyed being with my boys thoroughly.  For some reason, I was simply delighting in the realization that I am their mom and that we 3 were together.  They played with the fog rolling in, gathering buckets of it in their imaginations to dump on each other and me, running along like a couple of puppies.  My enjoyment and delight in them was thorough and in the present moment.

Later in a private email I received the following message from the husband of a friend - "Unfortunately, Marcia's cancer came back in her brain 6 mos ago, significantly limiting her, and she's since been slowly getting worse.  She's been in and out of the emergency room at the hospital, is now back at home but in a hospice program.  She can't get out of bed to get to the computer, but can sometimes talk coherently on the phone--if you'd like to call her".  I called as soon as I got the message and was lucky to find her coherent.  Still, it is a bit un-nerving.  A remider of mortality.  Just a little over 4 years ago, she was healthy and giving birth to her now 4-1/2 yr old boy.  Her older son is 7-1/2 yrs old.  This means her 2 boys are very close in age to my 2 boys and she is only a year or two older than I am.

So, as there is no way I can go and sit with her physically, I now sit with her in my mind.  She told me when we talked that she thinks of me from time to time and I know I think of her and so, I know the connection is there.  Having been a "spiritual midwife" for my FIL when he was dying, I have a sense of what a person thinks about and what becomes important.  I did send her husband an email and suggested if there is someone there who is "spiritual" that she is close to, that he should have them come for her.  In the meantime, I connect to her in my mind and send Love and Peace, acceptance and a gentle letting go with no thought of a time frame for such an event as only she and her maker know but I sense it isn't far away.  So, that was part of my Labor Day "work".

Later that evening I slipped into a sacred space and found my friend Aley/Enlightened Thinker there.  When I mentioned what was happening with my friend, she instantly realized that I really did need someone to talk to.  I was so unbalanced that I couldn't pack and we were leaving for several days the next morning.  So, even though it was close to midnight my time, she gave me her phone number.  I called and talked to her in the privacy and dark quiet of my back porch.  It relieved my heart, just having her to talk to.

We traveled to Iowa for the Midwest Old Threshers Reunion of steam tractors, horses & wagons, old cars and gas tractors at least 50 yrs old.  It is one of the best events of its type that I know of.  Very family friendly with a full-size steam locomotive, an electric trolley ride to a pioneer village, an old west town complete with gunfights (not that we like that part particularly, in fact, my youngest does not like those "bad guys" and doesn't want to go back, if we have to see them, even though he loves trains), a steam power carousel, the opportunity for children to drive John Deere tractors or a miniature steam engine in